You have now joined your son Richard de Zoysa, journalist, killed and disappeared during that night of February 17th/18th 1990.

One month later we were in Sri Lanka. We did not know you and asked a friend who knew you, to seek an interview. We were told that you had refused interviews. What made you say “No, let them come to see me”. We never asked. You never told. We will never know. We talked late into the night, of many things but not about your son. When we left you said,

“Let’s do the interview”.

You were under threat and we remember the devious route we took and ended up in my (Nimal’s) sister’s home. There by the fish tank, the motor humming quietly we spoke to you to try and recall the events of that night. Soon the air was charged with the emotion that penetrated the atmosphere of the room. We just held the camera focused on you, too frightened to even stop disturbing noises. It was an occasional murmur of a few words that I asked in between your story. No more. Yes, too frightened to break the trend of that powerful interview.

Much later, when a BBC Director Richard Taylor saw the footage this is what he said. “This is an interview that you get once in a lifetime, once in fifty years or so”. There was no credit at all to us. We just held the camera. Did nothing else. It was you, brave beautiful woman of Sri Lanka.

There was a line you said to us at the end which was repeated to us over the years we knew you. “My one wish is to join my son”, and now you have. It took 11 years more to end the suffering in your heart.

When you lived in our London flat with us for three months we witnessed the immense humour, the elegance of you, the beautiful caring heart but the incessant puff of that cigarette betrayed the sorrow, the nostalgia, the memory of your loss. There is one shot we have of you strolling in Kataragama with a host of school children pass you by, first girls, and then boys. Your hand involuntarily stroked the head of a little boy and what an image that is!!.........     

“Whether they know why they are doing it, or do not know; whether they have been told today is the night for so and so. What has this fellow done to  us that we should go and take him, and kill him. That I do not know. But they come. They come with They probably do not question why we  are doing this. their eyes that are empty of everything. They come with their guns. They come with their assurance that they will not fail in their missions. They come and knock at doors. Ring bells and they look at you, and frighten you, and threaten you.”

“If I had thought for one moment that they had come to take my son I would have died there at the door”

“Its the women who bear the brunt, and its the women who are the strong ones, because, when you lose a child you lose yourself..........."  

“I beg of every mother in Sri Lanka, whether it has happened to her or not, to stand up and fight. To stand up and fight for your children. They are all the children, they are all the children of your land.”

“I think sometimes in the night, that God could not save my son, but he brought him back to me “... “ The sea brought my son back to me (Richard’s body was washed ashore.

He was recognised, being a well known journalist, by the fishermen who discovered his body. Manorani was called to identify him)......

so that I could fight, so that I could fight for my son and his mother, and for all the other sons and  all the other mothers. I will fight, not just for my son, or the other sons, or the other mothers.

“I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS MY BELOVED LAND ".

and from the words of St Paul:

“I have fought the good fight to the end. I have run the race to the finish. I have kept the faith. All there is to come now is the crown of righteousness reserved for me, which the Lord, the righteous judge will give to me on that day, and not only to me but to all those who have longed for his appearing”

Manorani,
May you rest in Peace.

Nimal & Ranjani Mendis now live and write in France. They were members of the Christians Aware Sri Lanka group. The group continues to meet in North London & is planning a conference in Central London for Saturday, June 30& this year

The book:
"Out of the Depths - Struggle and Hope in Sri Lanka"
is available from the CA office.
Please also ask about the details of the Sri Lankan work and group
.